Jill Biden accused of stealing the wrong cheese

Jill Biden has been flogged ‘round the fleet, her open wounds then flushed with a bucket of sea water, for allegedly preening with a stolen captain’s truckle of cheese -- otherwise labeled a Doctorate of Education.

Did education guru Dr Jill secure a wheel of Franche-Comte, Appleby’s Cheshire, or something else equally divine?

No.  Jill commandeered a five pound brick of USDA surplus processed cheddar, standard fare found aboard the likes of SS John W Brown, an historic but lowly rusting merchant Liberty ship on display at a berth in Baltimore harbor.

The USDA has engineered milk price supports for decades, using cheese as the storage solution since 1950. Today we have over a billion pounds of cheese stored in caves, warehouses, and presumably mothballed merchant ships; a worthless commodity identical to Jill Biden’s Ed.D.

Unable to navigate her way into the captain’s larder, Jill found her bounty in a common seaman’s musty locker.

A flogging for flaunting a PhD in astrophysics might merit a captain’s mast, but for polishing a participation trophy Ed.D?   Set her free.

How did the yearning Dr-to-be Jill imagine parading around with a common cheese would be worth the ignominy if caught? Why not a cheese with a rind worth rinsing? Well, for striver Jill Biden, possessing a commodity would still be a luxury to her, no matter how acquired.  Just like her acquisition of husband Joe.

Whither is Jill’s self-esteem, now having been stripped of her dignity?  Does she even know she’s being ridiculed?  Well, there is no shame is being mediocre; an aspiration to be something other is a virtue. But pretending to be Dr Johnson, now that’s an offense ripe for a lashing.

Photo credit: YouTube screengrab (cropped)