The New Woke Bible?

Christianity Today recently got on board with the reparations movement and suggested that it is Christian churches who should step up and pay for the so-called systemic effects of slavery.

A better idea, though, should be to encourage Christians, beginning with pastors from their pulpits in church, to boldly speak about the greatest abolitionist in world history, Jesus Christ. When people are "set free indeed" by hearing that particular piece of good news (which, by the way, has been available to everyone for over 2,000 years now), people of all races will rejoice that they find themselves, finally, "paid in full."

So, what happened to the "Christian" part of the magazine's Christianity Today name?  It's almost as if they discovered, and are now following, a brand-new interpretation of the Holy Scriptures.  I can see it now:  unbeknownst to the rest of the Christian world, in the process of  tearing down a statue of the Reverend Martin Luther King in Haight-Ashbury, San Francisco -- because MLK says it is content-of-character not color-of-skin that matters -- they dug up some pages of a different translation of the New Testament. 

Let’s call it The Woke Bible.

I offer a couple of comparisons of translations from this very literally unbelievable find:

The NIV (New International Version) of Ephesians 4:15 is traditionally translated:

"Speak the truth in love..."

The NWB (New Woke Bible) translates Ephesians 4:15 as:

"Shout your opinions in their faces..."

And, how about, Philipians 4:8, NIV:

"Brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."


The NWB says:

"Ye whose righteousness is based upon self... whatever is mean-spirited, whatever makes you mad, whatever hurts your feelings, whatever triggers you, whatever makes you feel like a victim... act without thinking and burn baby burn!!"

And, 2 Corinthians 5:17, NIV:

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"

The NWB says:

"You're a racist!"

Translators of the Woke pages are still hard at work on the Our Father (come on, Father?), but in the meantime, if anyone can offer other translations from the New Woke Bible, I think we would all benefit to read them.

Until then, for Christianity Today and any churches out there who have bought into the whole woke mindset, I have a few words for you (from the traditional translation of Ephesians 5:14):

"Wake Up... and Christ will shine on you!"