The real skinny

A recent study says that people get fat (they say obese, but they mean fat) because they like the taste of food.  Having carried a few extra pounds the last several years, I've given thought to the phenomenon and am ready to share my conclusions.

Some people get fat because conditions cause it or make it all but inevitable, but most fatties get that way by taking in (eating) more calories than they burn off.  Two solutions offer themselves: run 10 miles and work out for two hours every day or eat less.  To lose weight quickly, add 10 more miles per day, or eat much less.  Combining the two allegedly works best.

Any of these solutions requires motivation to implement, and most of us fatties just ain't got it.  We'd like to be thinner, but realizing at last that we're never going to be movie stars or A-list rockers sort of takes away the motivation.

Also, we do like to eat.

We don't like to run.  Sweating makes us itch, and all our old football injuries, war wounds, and bicycle accidents as kids conspire to popping knees, painful arches, and aching tendons.  At least, it sounds good to say as much to skinny friends offering unsolicited advice.

Then there are those happy souls who have quit worrying about it.  My ma used to say none of us would get out of this world alive.  I said, "What about astronauts?"  She said, "They get off this world alive.  They don't get out of it alive."  That made sense, sort of, and since it was Ma saying it, there the matter remained.

Ultimately, more important than getting skinny is finding good conversation, and it's infinitely harder to come by.

Pass the potatoes.

Richard Jack Rail can be reached at caktusjakk@gmail.com.

A recent study says that people get fat (they say obese, but they mean fat) because they like the taste of food.  Having carried a few extra pounds the last several years, I've given thought to the phenomenon and am ready to share my conclusions.

Some people get fat because conditions cause it or make it all but inevitable, but most fatties get that way by taking in (eating) more calories than they burn off.  Two solutions offer themselves: run 10 miles and work out for two hours every day or eat less.  To lose weight quickly, add 10 more miles per day, or eat much less.  Combining the two allegedly works best.

Any of these solutions requires motivation to implement, and most of us fatties just ain't got it.  We'd like to be thinner, but realizing at last that we're never going to be movie stars or A-list rockers sort of takes away the motivation.

Also, we do like to eat.

We don't like to run.  Sweating makes us itch, and all our old football injuries, war wounds, and bicycle accidents as kids conspire to popping knees, painful arches, and aching tendons.  At least, it sounds good to say as much to skinny friends offering unsolicited advice.

Then there are those happy souls who have quit worrying about it.  My ma used to say none of us would get out of this world alive.  I said, "What about astronauts?"  She said, "They get off this world alive.  They don't get out of it alive."  That made sense, sort of, and since it was Ma saying it, there the matter remained.

Ultimately, more important than getting skinny is finding good conversation, and it's infinitely harder to come by.

Pass the potatoes.

Richard Jack Rail can be reached at caktusjakk@gmail.com.