Lies and all, vote Trump in 2020

The Washington Post's alleged fact checker, one Glenn Kessler, does his best to convince people that every word Donald Trump utters is a big, fat lie, even "and" and "the."  By one calculation, in his life as a big, fat liar, Donald Trump has uttered (conservative estimate) 275 trillion lies, all of the four Pinocchios variety.  Kessler affects his Pinocchio metric to make it look as if he's serious.

On the other side of the ledger, who needs reminding that the Left has a major problem with its liars?  The problem isn't so much the lies themselves as that they're so poorly told.  The Left surely needs better liars if it's to compete with one so versed in lying as the current president.

Stipulate, then, that everybody in the running for president in 2020 is a big, fat liar.  Since we can all point to lies told by them all, and to "misspokes" and "got the essence right" and such like, even on the candidate we personally support, that shouldn't be hard to agree to.

With those as our choices, then, we have to decide which liar best promotes our and America's interests.  Sourpusses might cynically observe that this is what it's always been about, and all politicians lie all the time if only to stay in practice.  I mean, who cares if the president lies about how rich he is so long as San Francisco retains the right to remain a literal third-world s-hole?  As well meaning Americans, we must keep our priorities straight.

The economic indicators all promote Trump and discourage any of his socialist challengers.  It almost isn't fair that Trump gets credit for the economy when everybody knows that economies, like changing climates, are impossible to manage since they're at the mercy of the Furies.  The good thing about them is that everybody gets to claim credit when things are going well and to sling mud when things go less well.  It's actually better for everybody when things go well, but the chatterers have such a good time when the economy tanks.  The fun thing about the Trump economy is that they sling mud even when everything's going better than anybody can remember.  Go figure.

The news industry must surely hope Don Trump wins again, since the job of scribbling their opinions reports is easy — just hate on the Donald, no research necessary.  Big Publishing has to be pulling for Trump in order to keep up the steady influx of exposés and tell-all books.  To be sure, that isn't a slam dunk; Omarosa's blockbuster didn't do very well, but that's probably racism.  Big Legal should go Trump for all the litigation his policies stir up on the Irate Idiot Left, sort of a jobs-for-ambulance-chasers thing.

Hey, it keeps them from coming after you and me.

MAGA-lovers obviously want Trump, but when you think about it, so should the likes of Antifa and George Soros and Robert Creamer.  After all, hating Donald Trump gives their lives meaning.  With him gone, how would they muster the energy to get up in the morning?  How to burn up all the hatred that boils within, to maintain that inner heat at white-hot levels, ready to erupt volcano-like all over the first pro-Trumper encountered?

Legal minority voters, as opposed to all those Guat and Nicaraguan and Salvadoran and Mexican and ISIS voters, should go Trump because jobs.  One guesses that most Central American jobs would be in the nature of maids and yard workers with the occasional rapist and drug-runner mixed in, while ISIS jobs tend toward more dangerous, explosive kinds of work.  Unions should prefer Trump for the jobs on the wall.  The NEA should love Trump because the longer the wall gets delayed, the more bilingual teacher jobs.

It's all about the economy!  Who knew?

On foreign strands, it's hard to say whom Putin favors, though probably not Hillary, and Xi seems to have a love-hate thing going with Trump.  Great Walls make great neighbors, don'tcha know.  But Kim Jong-un will certainly be pulling for his friend Donnie, who keeps Kim newsworthy for something besides murdering his own people in inventive ways.

Anybody else?  Oh, yeah: Big Pharma, Big Oil, Big Toothpick, et al.  These guys don't care and will bat both ways because they can shake down whoever wins.  If the Left, they don't actually have to shake leftists down, just remind them.  That's easy, but it's more fun to shake down the right and watch people boil over in a fit of jealous rage.

On balance, then, pert near everybody should vote Trump in 2020.  Even if he is a big, fat liar.

Richard Jack Rail voted for Donald Trump in 2016 and plans to do it again in 2020. You can reach him at caktusjakk@gmail.com.  Peruse his books at jackrailenterprises.com.

Image: Gage Skidmore via Flickr.

The Washington Post's alleged fact checker, one Glenn Kessler, does his best to convince people that every word Donald Trump utters is a big, fat lie, even "and" and "the."  By one calculation, in his life as a big, fat liar, Donald Trump has uttered (conservative estimate) 275 trillion lies, all of the four Pinocchios variety.  Kessler affects his Pinocchio metric to make it look as if he's serious.

On the other side of the ledger, who needs reminding that the Left has a major problem with its liars?  The problem isn't so much the lies themselves as that they're so poorly told.  The Left surely needs better liars if it's to compete with one so versed in lying as the current president.

Stipulate, then, that everybody in the running for president in 2020 is a big, fat liar.  Since we can all point to lies told by them all, and to "misspokes" and "got the essence right" and such like, even on the candidate we personally support, that shouldn't be hard to agree to.

With those as our choices, then, we have to decide which liar best promotes our and America's interests.  Sourpusses might cynically observe that this is what it's always been about, and all politicians lie all the time if only to stay in practice.  I mean, who cares if the president lies about how rich he is so long as San Francisco retains the right to remain a literal third-world s-hole?  As well meaning Americans, we must keep our priorities straight.

The economic indicators all promote Trump and discourage any of his socialist challengers.  It almost isn't fair that Trump gets credit for the economy when everybody knows that economies, like changing climates, are impossible to manage since they're at the mercy of the Furies.  The good thing about them is that everybody gets to claim credit when things are going well and to sling mud when things go less well.  It's actually better for everybody when things go well, but the chatterers have such a good time when the economy tanks.  The fun thing about the Trump economy is that they sling mud even when everything's going better than anybody can remember.  Go figure.

The news industry must surely hope Don Trump wins again, since the job of scribbling their opinions reports is easy — just hate on the Donald, no research necessary.  Big Publishing has to be pulling for Trump in order to keep up the steady influx of exposés and tell-all books.  To be sure, that isn't a slam dunk; Omarosa's blockbuster didn't do very well, but that's probably racism.  Big Legal should go Trump for all the litigation his policies stir up on the Irate Idiot Left, sort of a jobs-for-ambulance-chasers thing.

Hey, it keeps them from coming after you and me.

MAGA-lovers obviously want Trump, but when you think about it, so should the likes of Antifa and George Soros and Robert Creamer.  After all, hating Donald Trump gives their lives meaning.  With him gone, how would they muster the energy to get up in the morning?  How to burn up all the hatred that boils within, to maintain that inner heat at white-hot levels, ready to erupt volcano-like all over the first pro-Trumper encountered?

Legal minority voters, as opposed to all those Guat and Nicaraguan and Salvadoran and Mexican and ISIS voters, should go Trump because jobs.  One guesses that most Central American jobs would be in the nature of maids and yard workers with the occasional rapist and drug-runner mixed in, while ISIS jobs tend toward more dangerous, explosive kinds of work.  Unions should prefer Trump for the jobs on the wall.  The NEA should love Trump because the longer the wall gets delayed, the more bilingual teacher jobs.

It's all about the economy!  Who knew?

On foreign strands, it's hard to say whom Putin favors, though probably not Hillary, and Xi seems to have a love-hate thing going with Trump.  Great Walls make great neighbors, don'tcha know.  But Kim Jong-un will certainly be pulling for his friend Donnie, who keeps Kim newsworthy for something besides murdering his own people in inventive ways.

Anybody else?  Oh, yeah: Big Pharma, Big Oil, Big Toothpick, et al.  These guys don't care and will bat both ways because they can shake down whoever wins.  If the Left, they don't actually have to shake leftists down, just remind them.  That's easy, but it's more fun to shake down the right and watch people boil over in a fit of jealous rage.

On balance, then, pert near everybody should vote Trump in 2020.  Even if he is a big, fat liar.

Richard Jack Rail voted for Donald Trump in 2016 and plans to do it again in 2020. You can reach him at caktusjakk@gmail.com.  Peruse his books at jackrailenterprises.com.

Image: Gage Skidmore via Flickr.