Passover 5777: Some chometz humor

The Jewish year begins in the fall, acknowledging the creation of the world some 5,777 years ago, according to rabbinic authorities.  Some also speculate that in the beginning, the years were much, much longer than the twelve months, 365 and one quarter days of the present.  Or something.  See Einstein and other physicists for their theories of relativity, time, and the expansion of the universe for more information.  

The first month of the Jewish year is the month of the Jewish holiday of Passover, which begins at sundown Monday night.  That is because when the Jews quickly fled Egypt after the Egyptian monarch, the pharaoh, finally let the Jews go following a series of ten plagues, after several centuries of slavery, they then became a nation, a free people.  In their haste to leave before the pharaoh changed his mind, the Jews were forced to grab their half-baked bread before it rose properly.  The resulting cracker-like food, called matzoh, or unleavened bread, is one of the many important symbols of the holiday.  To commemorate their ancestors' exodus, traditional Jews refrain from eating bread or any leavened product, called chometz in Hebrew, during the seven days of the holiday in Israel (eight days outside of the country).  Any chometz remaining in the home is symbolically sold to someone who isn't Jewish.  (Yes, I know that the details are much more complicated, but this will do for the moment.)

And so, assuming that Ivanka Trump Kushner would sell her chometz, the following scenario, put together by anonymous, is a distinct possibility. 

For those who celebrate the holiday, have a good one.  For all, enjoy the possibilities of our president's skills and talents.

 
 

The Jewish year begins in the fall, acknowledging the creation of the world some 5,777 years ago, according to rabbinic authorities.  Some also speculate that in the beginning, the years were much, much longer than the twelve months, 365 and one quarter days of the present.  Or something.  See Einstein and other physicists for their theories of relativity, time, and the expansion of the universe for more information.  

The first month of the Jewish year is the month of the Jewish holiday of Passover, which begins at sundown Monday night.  That is because when the Jews quickly fled Egypt after the Egyptian monarch, the pharaoh, finally let the Jews go following a series of ten plagues, after several centuries of slavery, they then became a nation, a free people.  In their haste to leave before the pharaoh changed his mind, the Jews were forced to grab their half-baked bread before it rose properly.  The resulting cracker-like food, called matzoh, or unleavened bread, is one of the many important symbols of the holiday.  To commemorate their ancestors' exodus, traditional Jews refrain from eating bread or any leavened product, called chometz in Hebrew, during the seven days of the holiday in Israel (eight days outside of the country).  Any chometz remaining in the home is symbolically sold to someone who isn't Jewish.  (Yes, I know that the details are much more complicated, but this will do for the moment.)

And so, assuming that Ivanka Trump Kushner would sell her chometz, the following scenario, put together by anonymous, is a distinct possibility. 

For those who celebrate the holiday, have a good one.  For all, enjoy the possibilities of our president's skills and talents.