New policy 'unclogs' immigration courts

President Trump has been criticized for separating the children of illegal aliens from their parents.  They are being separated because more illegals are being criminally prosecuted for crossing the border illegally, and children can't accompany parents to jail.

There have been two subsidiary effects of this policy:

1. A veritable waterfall of crybaby stories in the liberal media about how illegal aliens, having brought children into the country while committing a criminal act, are upset that their children have been taken away from them, as if the parents are not the ones who put their children in this situation in the first place.

2. Illegals are more readily agreeing to deportation to be reunited with their children.

Now, on the morning of June 6, 14 more parents from Central America were facing an agonizing choice with uncertain consequences. They could plead guilty in the hope of speeding up their reunification with their children, but risk damaging their chances of receiving asylum in the United States.  Or they could plead innocent and head to trial, a process that could take days or weeks and prolong their separation from their kids.

As Allison Moody, a special assistant U.S. attorney, read the charges against the immigrants, they stood, one by one, in front of the magistrate to plead.

"Culpable," they said, again and again, using the Spanish word for guilty.  By 10:30, the count was 56 culpables and ­running.

But when it came time for number 57, Diego Nicolas-Gaspar hesitated.

"No culpable," he said uncertainly.

C'mon, Diego, you can do it!  Do the right thing!  Several minutes later...

"Culpable," he told the judge when court resumed minutes later.  "Culpable.  Culpable."

Here's what the judge told the illegals:

"I trust and hope that you will be reunited with your family members," he told them.  "But I also hope you understand that the reason there was a separation is that you violated the laws here of the United States."

By day's end, he would sentence more than 100 people, ­including 28 parents.  Most would receive the lightest punishment possible – time served – before they were handed over to Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

The frenzied pace of the proceedings was no accident.  As Moody emerged from court in the afternoon, she and a colleague exchanged a high-five.

"I said I'd get done by 3:20," the prosecutor said, checking the time to see she was only nine minutes behind schedule.

A happy ending for all!  Even the prosecutors get out in time for happy hour!

We read over and over how "clogged" the immigration courts are.  Let's hope this new policy will unclog them faster than Liquid-Plumr!

Naturally, the liberal media will portray this as cruelty in action.  The liberal media don't believe in enforcing criminal laws they don't like, so here the federal government is evil and the crying illegal aliens are virtuous.

But whether they cry enough to make the Rio Grande overflow, the result is the same: they're going home!

Thank you, President Trump!

Thank you, Attorney General Jeff Sessions!

Homeland security secretary Kirstjen Nielsen, I don't know whether to thank you or not.  Maybe not.

Ed Straker is the senior writer at Newsmachete.com.

President Trump has been criticized for separating the children of illegal aliens from their parents.  They are being separated because more illegals are being criminally prosecuted for crossing the border illegally, and children can't accompany parents to jail.

There have been two subsidiary effects of this policy:

1. A veritable waterfall of crybaby stories in the liberal media about how illegal aliens, having brought children into the country while committing a criminal act, are upset that their children have been taken away from them, as if the parents are not the ones who put their children in this situation in the first place.

2. Illegals are more readily agreeing to deportation to be reunited with their children.

Now, on the morning of June 6, 14 more parents from Central America were facing an agonizing choice with uncertain consequences. They could plead guilty in the hope of speeding up their reunification with their children, but risk damaging their chances of receiving asylum in the United States.  Or they could plead innocent and head to trial, a process that could take days or weeks and prolong their separation from their kids.

As Allison Moody, a special assistant U.S. attorney, read the charges against the immigrants, they stood, one by one, in front of the magistrate to plead.

"Culpable," they said, again and again, using the Spanish word for guilty.  By 10:30, the count was 56 culpables and ­running.

But when it came time for number 57, Diego Nicolas-Gaspar hesitated.

"No culpable," he said uncertainly.

C'mon, Diego, you can do it!  Do the right thing!  Several minutes later...

"Culpable," he told the judge when court resumed minutes later.  "Culpable.  Culpable."

Here's what the judge told the illegals:

"I trust and hope that you will be reunited with your family members," he told them.  "But I also hope you understand that the reason there was a separation is that you violated the laws here of the United States."

By day's end, he would sentence more than 100 people, ­including 28 parents.  Most would receive the lightest punishment possible – time served – before they were handed over to Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

The frenzied pace of the proceedings was no accident.  As Moody emerged from court in the afternoon, she and a colleague exchanged a high-five.

"I said I'd get done by 3:20," the prosecutor said, checking the time to see she was only nine minutes behind schedule.

A happy ending for all!  Even the prosecutors get out in time for happy hour!

We read over and over how "clogged" the immigration courts are.  Let's hope this new policy will unclog them faster than Liquid-Plumr!

Naturally, the liberal media will portray this as cruelty in action.  The liberal media don't believe in enforcing criminal laws they don't like, so here the federal government is evil and the crying illegal aliens are virtuous.

But whether they cry enough to make the Rio Grande overflow, the result is the same: they're going home!

Thank you, President Trump!

Thank you, Attorney General Jeff Sessions!

Homeland security secretary Kirstjen Nielsen, I don't know whether to thank you or not.  Maybe not.

Ed Straker is the senior writer at Newsmachete.com.